cerpen

candle of hope
sunny morning in late December, the sun shines hot blinding my eyes, this is the closing day of the year two thousand ten. year filled with irony, laughter, tears and loss. but the time seemed to run so fast. I feel just yesterday I celebrated my 15th birthday with his mother and sister, when we were together, blew out the candle of hope opening my age. but the time seemed to jump over the days of the story. tomorrow, 1 january is my birthday today, but maybe this time will be different to last year. no candle, cake, and gifts. and no longer the most special of my brother. Danan mas if you’re still here, if I can not tell you the time. maybe all will not like this. I know this is all my fault, blame everyone akau, including the mother, yes my mother and mas Danan. I have to harm the one boy who’s mother gave birth.
. like what mothers say when nothing knew that her brother was dead.
“all this because you mia, look what you’ve done in your brother so that he died”.
I could no longer say anything. guilt gnawing through my body. I thought as if screaming can not accept this fact. My sister has gone and all because of me.
. since the incident she suffered severe shock. he did not want to talk to me and sometimes he suffered hysterical name calling mas Danan. the longer the situation is getting worse. I’m confused, I could not help it anymore. I finally took him to a mental hospital in the hope she will recover and forgive me.
this time I was truly alone, my life was funded by my father. My birth father who has been divorced from the mother and has a new family, of course, with his new wife and a newly born child by him. although the father does not live with me but all my needs met by the father. I never lacked a bit of material. even at home dad prepare a personal assistant and driver for me. I know all this is proof that my father loved me and consider me as a child. but I also want my father to know that the need now is family affection.
My reverie fly far into the past, imagine mas san Danan mother is still with me. that night I spent time with looking at pictures of the three of us. my heart said. apakahmasa it will happen again.
someone knocked on the intu my room, turned out to mbok Minah.
“Non, eat first. I have prepared food for you, from the morning you have not eaten anything, you’ll be sick.”
mbok yes, but I’m not hungry now. mbok meal ahead. ”
mbok Minah and mr. johndoe indeed have I considered as my own family. although not like my mother and father really is. but they give something for me that is priceless, namely compassion.
morning after the night before too late I could not sleep and my mind drifted not know the direction. I live this day as usual, however I must rise up against all these problems.
I saw a pack of johndoe was fiddling with the car and mbok Minah was preparing breakfast in the kitchen,
“mbok, mr. let’s have breakfast” I exclaimed as he headed to the table.
I get the dishes and rice for them that I mengambilakan, denagan so they will not be able to refuse to accompany me breakfast.
“non, seem very happy today.? asked Mbok keherenan.
“yes, non semanagt not usually like this” said mr.Jono
“uh. not really, normally,”
“oh yes, mbok today I want to visit mother in hospital, mbok would not go with me?
“yes of course, all will I do for you”
on the way to the hospital there is something uncomfortable in my heart ‘. if you still remember me? whether he was able to forgive me in a year ever since we parted brother go?
in the hospital I slowly opened the door to the room where the mother in the hospital, I saw he was sitting with a blank stare, I walked slowly approached the mother, then I sat down beside it and I watched the whole body of the mother who seems a bit thin. this time the mother is not hysterical to see me, but he just does not make a sound a bit quiet. I comb my hair a little messy mom, my tears unconsciously seethings capital has dropped like this .
“mother has been eating?” I asked quietly. but he was just silent as if not mendenagar my voice.
“the mother remembered, today the 1st of January, the day of my birthday bu, last year we celebrate together and mom gave me a ring. see me wear it now”
I sobbed to say it but the mother was still silent and did not want to talk.
well yes mom here. mia go home ”
back from the mental hospital I went to the tutoring to fill my days. all I do to forget my past.